Slipperfields is a long, long way from Cape Town, but the scenery en-route makes up for distance. When Hel and myself arrived, we booked into the lodge and then headed off to find Slipperfields and explore the area. It was amazing to say the least. Real farmlands these – full of cows, lush green grass, old buildings and gravel roads. The only small technicality was that the rain was coming down without any indication of ever stopping. But it was still 24 hours before Charles and Riana’s wedding so I wasn’t too worried. 20 hours later and guess what – it was still raining. No prob, I handed Charles and his betmen some umbrellas and off we walked down to the railway line where Charles got into his kit. Lots of chirping from the bestmen, lots of chirping back from Charles, no stress, no strain. Off to Riana gorgeous Riana we went. All good, happy room filled with lovely girls. Nice snacks. All good. Then I had this really bright idea which was to take Riana’s generic cymbalta costco dress into the field outside her room where the cows were grazing. So off Helen and Lynell (Riana’s one bridesmaid) and myself went. It was still raining, but only a drizzle now. I said to the girls that we would need to get the dress cover off, then hang the dress onto the hat stand we’d brought from the room as quickly as possible. They would then need to run out of my shot, I’d take the photo and then they could run back in, put the cover on and take the dress back inside. ‘Okay go!’ And the girls sprung into action. The whole mission went perfectly. Until the hat stand decided that it would prefer to just topple over and head southwards. Straight towards the very slushy, wet, muddy, green grass of home. I don’t swear much at all, and certainly not at weddings. But as Riana’s dress plummeted earthbound, well, I let it slip with a pretty descriptive word that can be used to describe a variety of situations. It was like one of those dreams where you want to run, but you can’t as all 3 of us headed for that beautiful dress. But we didn’t make it there in time and ‘shhhhhlunk’ into the quagmire went the dress. Helen picked it up. I didn’t want to look. The top of the hat stand was covered in hectic brown mud. HECTIC. Up came the dress. I knew that there was absolutely no way on earth that Riana’s dress would have been able to escape that fall unscathed. But somehow it did. Not one mark on it. Nothing. I now believe in miracles. We went back inside and I told the girls not to say a word to Riana. I then asked Helen to check the dress again, but she couldn’t. She was paralyzed with shock and literally couldn’t move. So I walked over and gave it a very casual yet seriously intense look. Perfect. Not even the tiniest of blemishes. And with that Riana climbed into her dress, walked down the aisle and we enjoyed a wedding of note, walking through mud, laughing and celebrating a wonderful day and evening. The venue was awesome, the speeches good, the dancing was um, ja, interesting. Had I been a cat that day, I would have used up all 9 lives in one go. Mistakes do happen, just not to me, and not like that. It could have been a very, very bad day at the office indeed. So suffice it to say that I won’t be doing that again. Not ever. Oh, and Riana doesn’t know about the dress episode at all. Until now of course. Love you guys! Okay, what’s next, should we do a Trash the Dress then chaps? I’m still shaking.