Roy and Janine, Cape Town Hotel School. Okay, so I need to come clean, I’m a bit of an oddity. A bit of a freak of nature actually. You see, in social situations I’m really quite shy and introverted – I let Helen do the talking while I just stand around feeling marginally inadequate at any sort of social interaction whatsoever. This is immensely true. I mean seriously, what do you say to someone you’ve never met before? ‘Hiiii, hectic traffic out there today.’ Strange really, considering that at weddings I have to command crowds from 13 to 300. But that’s the way it is. Of course at weddings it’s slightly different for me – it’s where I can let the introvert go and live for the moment. I think it’s actually because when I’ve got a camera in my hand people think I know what I’m doing. So whose the weirdo now huh? Anyway, let’s get to the point. In an average year I meet a heck of a lot of people and looking through the lens, I see the faces of a ton more. And every so often, it all gets a bit overwhelming and I tend to lose my marbles. But there’s generally a time and a place to lose your marbles. It is NOT the best idea to start letting your faculties go completely walkabout when you’re dealing with your bride and groom. And for some or other reason, this is precisely what happens to me every now and again. So much so that I sometimes have to talk my way out of a complete and utter storm-water system. So take Melanie and Rodger for example. Oh wait, this isn’t Melanie and Rodger, this is Tammy and Jeff. Whoops. Sorry, my mistake, it’s actually Janine and Roy. And no, they don’t live in Rondebosch, they live in Sea Point. Or is it Camp’s Bay? I forget now. The point is, I called Janine two different completely arbitrary names (once just days before their wedding and then again, just after she and Roy cut the cake ON their wedding day). Deafening silence. Not a massive amount of cheering and applause going on. And there I am trying to mumble through the next incoherent sentence or two trying to fix an unfixable mistake and then heading off for some fresh air to try and pull myself towards myself. Yup, there goes Warrie at his finest – public relations agent number 1! Try putting your foot in your mouth and changing gear again mate. So no, Roy isn’t Deon. Well, he wasn’t yesterday and he sure isn’t today. Won’t be Deon, Malcolm or Kirk tomorrow either. Oh, and Warrie, Ross is the bestman, Roy is the groom. And Liam looks like Nicholas Cage, but it doesn’t mean you have to be calling him Nicholas all night long. Yet beneath it all, there’s this mind that can recall, down to the minutest detail, almost every word spoken in any photograph I’ve ever taken. How strange. Loved your wedding Fred and Rosmarie – or is it Janine-ski and the ‘Royster?’ I’m off for counselling…

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