At school, I matriculated with an E in Maths. I didn’t do that much better at Science either. I was okay at History, below average at Art, and my Afrikaans was fair to mild. Every report I ever received said: ‘Warren must stop daydreaming and pay attention.’ I loved school, but I hated memorising what seemed irrelevant to me. I think I just saw the world differently to my contemporaries. School plays invigorated me because I could get lost in a fantasy world (as did writing English essays). What Einstein did (or did not do) I really could not give two hoots about – that was his business and I’m sure he had fun doing it, but inverse square laws, atoms, cloud formations, and war treaties signed by politicians on some river somewhere far away wasn’t really my scene. So where is this all going? Well, Fortune and Onasis’ wedding was one of those invigorating fantasy things that appeal to me. When it comes to weddings I have an acute ability to remember just about anything from any wedding I’ve shot anywhere. In the case of Fortune and Onasis’ wedding I’ll remember the absolutely amazingly stylish outfits worn by one and all. I’ll remember very, very cute little page boys named Abi and Denzel. I’ll remember Onasis and his ‘bodyguards.’ I’ll remember that the service started a mere 90-minutes late (Fortune, you were right when you told me your wedding would run on African time when we first met at the News Cafe in Blouberg). I’ll remember Fortune’s dad saying after the formal family shots that he had had such a good time as he pumped my hand. Wedding days should be made of memories and this one was. So Algebra and Winston Churchill, I’m sure you have your place, but if you don’t mind, I’ll just stick to reading Bill Bryson’s ‘ A Short History of Nearly Everything’ for now. Right, where’s my camera…