You don’t know me (yet), but I photographed a spring maternity shoot with your mom (her name is Nicci or Nic-Nax) and dad (his name is Brendan or ‘The Brenster’). Actually, if the truth be told, we go back a bit. It started with your mom and dad’s wedding. Then we did this Trash the Dress thing where your dad kind of made your mom jump from the top of a waterfall into ice cold water (you can see it here L). Then they hugged and kissed in the water (how gross). Now listen, I don’t want to be alarmist or anything, but you need to know a thing or two about these parentals of yours. To be like REALLY honest with you, your folks are kind of a bit batty. Actually, they’re totally batty. Deranged would be closer to the truth I suppose. Nutcases both. Yup, true story. Sorry to have to be the one to break it to you. Anyway, you’re going to find out sooner or later so I may as well be the one to tell you. Allow me to explain. Firstly, there’s your dad. He’s quite difficult to photograph because the sun tends to um, bounce off the top of his head a bit. Not known for a mop of hair on his brain casing is your dad. But that’s okay, we love him anyway (so does your mom, but goodness knows why). He’s a bit of an extreme sportsman is your dad. Likes to charge down mountains on his bike and has been known to fall off on occasion (or ride into cables and other weird things). But he’s a good guy so you’ll be okay – he’s gentle and kind and a very, very good man. Just stay out of his way if you see him coming towards you with a potpie pot because he makes a mean a quoi sert le medicament cymbalta one. And trust me, you’ll fart yourself to Mars and back after you’ve had a plate or two of his beef potjie creation. Just saying L. Take the advice from where it comes. I’ve been there. I know.
Now let’s talk about your mom shall we. As you move through life you’re going to watch some very funny films that will make you cry with laughter. And you’ll definitely have a friend or two who will know how to make you crouch double in hysterics. They’re all beginners L. They know nothing about comedy. Your mom is probably the wittiest person on the planet. And she does it very quietly and subtly. She also has a laugh that will make you laugh more than you ever thought possible. You’re going to dig her big time. She’s a legend. But watch your back L – you might not be safe with your mom. 100 bucks says she’ll pour Coca-Cola into your shampoo bottle – before you’re a year old. She’s a bit weird like that. One day, when you start following her on Twitter and all those silly Social Media sites you’ll understand. Anyway, here are some photos from the shoot we did the other day and I look forward to taking your photographs when you start walking around and talking incoherent claptrap. How on earth I’m going to handle three of you on a photoshoot I have no idea. But challenges are there to be overcome I suppose. Oh and one last thing. When you do make your way into this world, please make it snappy, because if there’s one thing we all want to know, it’s what L stands for. See you soon fellow!
Your photography Godfather.