DAYNE & KRISTAL
THE HOMESTEAD, CONSTANTIA
(AND HOW SOMETIMES, YOU JUST HAVE TO SUCK IT UP AND SHOOT ‘YOUR BROTHER FROM ANOTHER MOTHER’S’ WEDDING).
AND THEN CAME AN EXTREMELY CRINGE-WORTHY MOMENT WHICH WENT LIKE THIS…
EMILE THE GROOMSMAN: ER, I’VE GOT SOMETHING TO TELL YOU MAN.
WARREN: WHAT BRO?
EMILE THE GROOMSMAN: I UM, I ONLY BOUGHT MY SHOES THIS MORNING AND UH, I UH, I DIDN’T CHECK THEM.
WARREN: JA SO?
EMILE THE GROOMSMAN: THEY’RE UM, BOTH SHOES FOR MY RIGHT FOOT. MY FEET ARE KILLING ME. PLEASE DON’T TELL ANYONE.
WARREN: NO WAAAAAY! CHIIIINA! YOUR SECRET IS SAFE WITH ME. (NICE ONE EMILE – CLASS ACT, JUST ABSOLUTE CLASS).
OKAY SOOOO. PAYBACK TIME FOR ALL THE GRIEF THEY’VE GIVEN ME OVER THE YEARS. YOU CAN TAKE IT FROM ME THAT THIS IS GOING TO BE RATHER SPECIAL AND TRUTHFUL. NOW, WHAT DO WE HAVE HERE…
BALD-HEADED DUDE ON THE FAR LEFT TRYING TO LOOK IMMENSELY SMOOTH BUT STRUGGLING A BIT:Â BROTHER (AS IN DINKUM REAL BOET, DEAN WILLIAMS). LOVELY CLINT EASTWOOD-STYLE STARE GOING ON THERE.
SOMEWHAT SHORT GIRL STANDING ON TIP-TOES LOOKING ABSOLUTELY NORMAL (AS ONE CAN SEE) IN BLACK GLITTERY, D.I.S.C.O. DRESS. HALF-SISTER AND EPIC MAKER OF LEMON MERINQUE PIE: CHANTELLE (ALSO KNOWN AS SHIRL).
DUDE WITH BOWTIE HAVING A GO AT GROWING DESIGNER STUBBLE ESPECIALLY FOR HIS WEDDING DAY (AND GETTING IT SEMI-RIGHT IF YOU USE A BIT OF IMAGINATION). DAYNE THE GROOM AND HALF-BROTHER.
FAR RIGHT. I MEAN PLEASE. DUH. THE ELDER. KNOWLEDGE, WISDOM AND EXPERIENCE ALL IN ONE IMPECCABLE PACKAGE. WHAT A 6-PACK. GOOSE-BUMP STUFF TO BE PERFECTLY HONEST.
AND FINALLY, MY TWO BEAUTIFUL DAUGHTERSÂ (WHO ARE GOING TO KILL ME FOR THIS BUT HEY, WHATEVA). SONS OF VERY RICH FARMERS WITH LOTS OF WINE VATS, HORSES AND BOATS, APARTMENTS IN NEW YORK ETC. ETC. PLEASE FEEL FREE TO MAIL ME.
