I gulped down some water, looked over at Leanne and said: ‘Now listen here, seriously girl, this barbed wire is vicious hey. Touch it and your Rosenwerth dress is going to tear like rice paper.’ I wasn’t joking either. We’d reversed the Land Rover up to the fence, hoping that everyone would be able to climb across it and scramble down its ladder unscathed. ‘Don’t worry, I’ve got it’ I heard Luke, one of the groomsmen say. I turned around, and bless his little purple socks, Luke had indeed got it. The chap is a Marine – which helps when one needs to circumnavigate barbed wire. ‘Go people, go, go, go!’ And we all sort of ambled through and onto the battlefield (at this point, let me add that the barbed wire was left in mint condition). ‘Watch out for snakes guys,’ I yelled as the troops stormed across the wide open plains. I turned to my Wingman, the groom, also known Michael ‘The Dupster’ du Plessis. ‘How ya doin’ buddy?’ I said. ‘I’m strong like an ox’ he replied, jumping up onto the old ruin. And so the shooting began. It was fearsome stuff, only for the bravest of the brave, with Leanne and the girls heading up the first assault – climbing through windows, jumping across rubble and attacking with all the sexiness they could muster. Then ‘BOOM’ and it was the turn of the men as they slung jackets over their shoulders and gave it the blue steel stares. Hollywood comes to Hermanus. Mission accomplished we headed back to the reception, where I have to admit, I have never seen so many long legs in one place at one time, ever. I didn’t know where to point the camera. So to prevent myself from going completely insane, I shot the cake. Into the night we went, with great food from La Vierge, and plenty of wine. And as we all know, once the wine makes its way to our toes, we become brilliant dancers. So there was (apparently) brilliant dancing as well if you know what I mean. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again – this is the greatest job in the world! And with that, I think it’s time to phone my Wingman ‘The Dupster’ and his gorgeous wife Leanne for a beer and a debriefing.